Phantom

art tag is #the dragon draws Baby tag is #hatchling

About Me
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Posts tagged negative:

Im watching a show and i just got anxiety watching cartoon characters walk into a store without masks on


So my spouse and his dad worked all labor day weekend taking the roof off to replace it. But they weren't able to finish it. And its raining....so we have leaks. In our bedroom. So the both of us are up at 6am (although we woke up initially at 4:30) so that sucks

My father in law won't be back until a week from next Sunday to finish the roof


BELARUS FUNDRAISERS

babushka -

help families of political prisoners

support free press, journalists and independent media (English description) - gofundme
support free press, journalists and independent media - PayPal
help those who have lost their jobs because of the regime - facebook campaign
What's happening?


There are some cards in google that will probably explain the situation better than me, I just know what I've read in Russian news and from fundraiser creators. Basically, the "current president" of Belarus A.Lukashenko "won" in the elections which were so obviously fake, a lot of people went to protest them. Only to be met with police violence. People are being arrested, beaten, and tortured violently for simply going outside and peacefully demanding justice. This is sick.

The leaders of the opposition (mostly women) demand fair elections where Lukashenko's main opponent, S. Tikhanovskaya can compete against him fairly. The opposition suggests that the actual elections numbers were 90% in her favor, however the official number state that she only has 10% and Lukashenko has 80%.

Putin's stance on this is definitely pro-Lukashenko and he has offered to send military help to him if situation gets "out of control", which is very bad. Lukashenko is running around with a gun and a terrified face, but he refuses to let go of the presidential seat and openly defends violence and torture against protestors, claiming those are essential to keep the country together.

I see a lot of info carrds floating around, but not a lot of links to funds so here they are. The funds are named BY_Help and By_Sol.

If you have a platform bigger than mine, consider spreading the links around or adding them to your Belarus-themed carrds. I don't know if there's a way to contact carrd creators and ask them to link the funds, but if there is... Please, someone, do it. I am already shaking really badly as I'm typing this so I can't.

Ways to show your support:

Жыве Беларусь slogan (literally: Viva Belarus)

Use the white-red-white flag instead of the current "official" Belarus flag, which is green and red. No, the white-red-white flag does not have any fascist undertones.

Thanks for taking your time to read.


My stomach hurts and I need to poop a lot. I don't know why :(. Maybe it is because of the alcohol i had??? It was just a hard lemonade though. Maybe it is my period. I haven't started it yet. Maybe it is the olive bread I made and have been eating. I don't know why though. Maybe its because I didn't eat much during the day and then had a big dinner. Who knows!

Maybe its just that I'm 27 and so randomly getting body issues because of age.


Hey just wanted to say I love y'all! Even when I don't post I often come on here to relax. I'm kinda of disassociating right now because of something that happened (I'm alright its just a conflict/argument but like bad. I guess I'm not really alright hahaha) but being on here I'm already feeling calm


babushka -

Belarus, right

People are protesting unfair elections, police violence is actively used against them

Donate here to support the victims (multilingual version with a better description)


babushka -

they're getting a lot of support which is great. couple of news from what i've heard:

  • the protests didn't "burn out and die" as several news sources suggested after a brief pause in them

  • Putin suggested he will offer forces to help belorussian oppressive government (namely Lukashenko) in case the situation "gets out of control" which is so bad its surreal but i hope he still stays in his lane since his raiting is!! not so high amongst russians anymore!! who would have thought!!

  • the police brutality is still on unspeakable levels

  • some western europe countries are helping which is great

  • Lukashenko is going obsessed so he won't quit peacefully unless he's forced to; however the opposition is positive that they will succeed since literally the entire country rose up

  • ways to show support are to show white-red-white flag instead of current Belarus' official one (green and white? i think?). no, this flag doesn't have any nazi connotation


I shared a political post on Facebook and my aunt (different aunt from one I've mentioned before) commented. I haven't even looked at it and I'm shaking. She has very bad political ideas (ie she voted for Trump) and I don't want to know what she said.


I sincerely hope they bring back the 600$ a week. Otherwise I'm only getting 600$ a month. My insurance is 1000$, and I've got other bills to pay

We won't be completely in the dog house, because my spouse also gets money (although they are paying for other bills and expenses) and my in laws might be able to help, but I really really hate relying on other people.


Uhh,I've been having a major headache the last few days. :(

Is it a lack of sleep? Is it dehydration? Is it stress? Is it *whisper* covid? Who knows? Not me


Spouse left for a few days (they left yesterday) and I'm already in a low emotional funk. I know its bad to have your entire emotional support centered on one person, but I've always had strong attachment issues. They will be home Friday night, so it won't be too long. I've been trying to keep busy. Cleaning, making baby food, crocheting, and other things.

My dad wants me to review his book. And I still need to do my studies. I've basically given up on art fight, but at least I did some stuff already.

I'm feeling overwhelmed. Oh ya and since I live in America Covid is still terrorizing everything and school is about to start back up.


Uuuuhg my aunt is so annoying. Everything she says comes off passive aggressive.

I posted my recent yarn project and joked that I would have finished it sooner if I wasn't interrupted by the baby all the time.

And she commented that he was my Actual job.

Then on another post she asked if I ever got into his playpen to play with him (on a post where I literally had a picture of him while I was in his play area with him.) And then she asked if I ever knit with him.

  1. I don't knit. And I've told her that I crochet many times, but why would she bother listening to me

  2. I'm not going to let my 1 year play with yarn? He could strangle himself??

  3. Also he's one? He wouldn't be able to do the complex movements of knitting or crocheting?

  4. Are you really implying that I don't play with my kid????

  5. Even if he is my main "job" (fuck you for reminding me I lost my job) I am still allowed to have hobbies

Anyway this has been my rando complaint about my abusive aunt


my baby is so sad rn :( He has two teeth coming in and there isnt anything I can do to help him

he needs to sleep. but he keeps crying. When I go in to comfort him he gets more upset.

He keeps calling for me.

He should have been asleep over an hour ago

uhg. Im in so much pain


Feeling tired and low again. I have things I need to do. I am surviving


Not feeling great. Brain not focus. Bad feelings. Usually this is just night feel but its noon time. :( CaNT focus on video or podcast. Social media anxiety

Creativity machine broke no drawing or writing.


Long post under the cut

Sometimes I forget HOW integrated racism is in EVERYTHING. And then im given a book on easter from my mother in law to read to my son. The true story of Easter with Jesus dying and raising from the grave.

In this book Jesus is depicted as white (or at least very fair skinned) because of course. I don't even blink at that. This was the (factually innaccurate) Jesus i grew up with. Finding a non-white looking Jesus smack in the middle of bible belt America is highly unlikely.

I read the book to my son and noticed that they they did use other skin colors for other characters. They also used traditional dress and head coverings. Good on them I guess (?).

Then I got to the page with the last supper and I knew exactly which one was Judas. Everyone was smiling except one man. Clearly that was Judas. Want to know what else made him stand out from the others?

He had the darkest skin and black hair. While not all of them were fair skinned like Jesus was depicted, non of the other Apostles were as dark as Judas.

Like really??? You are going to make the "bad man who hated Jesus" be the only one with dark skin?

Anyway, I'm not reading that book to my kid anymore. We have plenty of non racist books to choose from.


babushka -

why are americans like "well if i feel like that person is dangerous for me i'll just shoot them! i am so glad to have this right" like? you won't go to jail afterwards? for murder?


phantomflame03 -

There is this thing that is legal in some states called the "stand your ground" law or whatever. Conceptually it is so that people who are being attacked already can protect themselves without getting in trouble.

Unfortunately eince its been instated it mostly is used to excuse white men who kill black people. It is horrific. It isn't legal in my state. (Note this is different than a basic self defense idea).

"Stand your ground" isn't legal in every state (I'm pretty sure it isn't legal in my state), but ya its terrifying.


babushka -

That sure sounds terrifying. Why do you need to stand your ground? Is is zombie-apocalypse, is it THAT unsafe, is the govt unable to protect its own people??


phantomflame03 -

Okay so to put it simply (I don't study law so I could miss some nuance, but also I think it is a stupid and dangerous law) To not be convicted when you kill someone in Self Defense there must have been no other option. If you could have retreated safely or otherwise escaped without harming the other person, but instead chose to take their life you would still be punished by the system.

This is not the case in States with the "Stand your Ground" law. This establishes a right by which a person may defend one's self or others (right of self-defense) against threats or perceived threats, even to the point of applying lethal force, regardless of whether safely retreating from the situation might have been possible.

I'm going to post the rest under the cut. I have a basic example that people use for it.


The scenario is you are at home. It is the middle of the night. Someone breaks into your house. For self defense to be an acceptable action without the Stand your ground law, you must have nowhere to go and have reasonable understanding that you or others are in danger.

With the stand your ground law, you could have the option to escape but "hell naw, this is Murica (pronounced Mur-ih-ka) and I have a RIGHT to shoot anyone who dares to come on MY property and threaten MY family."

This is why when Black (men usually) people get killed,the argument is that the white (usually men but not always) person felt threatened by them existing or showing "suspicious behavior" like walking down the street.

The law came under fire (in my memory) when a 17 black boy was killed for the crime of being black whole wearing a hoodie at night in a predominantly white neighborhood.

Anyway I have lots of feelings about this, which is mostly Fuck that!

Lots of aggressive white men have this fantasy about someone "threatening their family" so they can shoot them and become a hero. But then they refuse to help out around the house and actually take care of their kids.


babushka -

oh that's where "shoot first ask questions later" comes from

we have quite the opposite situation here in russia since a lot of people go to jail for literal self-defence from a person actively trying to assault them but i don't know the legal details of that.


phantomflame03 -

I should specify that for me and my lifestyle I have no need for guns and it would not help me in my life. In fact it would be a bigger danger.

I live and have lived in Suburbia my whole life. My situation and experience is differant than my friend who lives deep in the country and has to deal with say mountain lions and bears. He also lives so far from any law enforcment that if someone showed up to his house and threatened him he would be unable to get help.

Also if you live somewhere with a high crime rate I can understand wanting something for security.

But for me, it doesn't even cross my mind to have a gun in the house. Now we do have swords And other thigs that could be used as make shift weapons but it is unlikely they will be used in that way.

I'm totally for self defense, but our country has horrible power dynamics that people who should be able to use the "Stand your ground"law (women who are beaten by their husbands and are finally fighting back) go to jail, while white cops get paid time off for killing unarmed black kids for daring to exist.


babushka -

why are americans like "well if i feel like that person is dangerous for me i'll just shoot them! i am so glad to have this right" like? you won't go to jail afterwards? for murder?


phantomflame03 -

There is this thing that is legal in some states called the "stand your ground" law or whatever. Conceptually it is so that people who are being attacked already can protect themselves without getting in trouble.

Unfortunately eince its been instated it mostly is used to excuse white men who kill black people. It is horrific. It isn't legal in my state. (Note this is different than a basic self defense idea).

"Stand your ground" isn't legal in every state (I'm pretty sure it isn't legal in my state), but ya its terrifying.


babushka -

That sure sounds terrifying. Why do you need to stand your ground? Is is zombie-apocalypse, is it THAT unsafe, is the govt unable to protect its own people??


phantomflame03 -

Okay so to put it simply (I don't study law so I could miss some nuance, but also I think it is a stupid and dangerous law) To not be convicted when you kill someone in Self Defense there must have been no other option. If you could have retreated safely or otherwise escaped without harming the other person, but instead chose to take their life you would still be punished by the system.

This is not the case in States with the "Stand your Ground" law. This establishes a right by which a person may defend one's self or others (right of self-defense) against threats or perceived threats, even to the point of applying lethal force, regardless of whether safely retreating from the situation might have been possible.

I'm going to post the rest under the cut. I have a basic example that people use for it.


The scenario is you are at home. It is the middle of the night. Someone breaks into your house. For self defense to be an acceptable action without the Stand your ground law, you must have nowhere to go and have reasonable understanding that you or others are in danger.

With the stand your ground law, you could have the option to escape but "hell naw, this is Murica (pronounced Mur-ih-ka) and I have a RIGHT to shoot anyone who dares to come on MY property and threaten MY family."

This is why when Black (men usually) people get killed,the argument is that the white (usually men but not always) person felt threatened by them existing or showing "suspicious behavior" like walking down the street.

The law came under fire (in my memory) when a 17 black boy was killed for the crime of being black whole wearing a hoodie at night in a predominantly white neighborhood.

Anyway I have lots of feelings about this, which is mostly Fuck that!

Lots of aggressive white men have this fantasy about someone "threatening their family" so they can shoot them and become a hero. But then they refuse to help out around the house and actually take care of their kids.


babushka -

why are americans like "well if i feel like that person is dangerous for me i'll just shoot them! i am so glad to have this right" like? you won't go to jail afterwards? for murder?


phantomflame03 -

There is this thing that is legal in some states called the "stand your ground" law or whatever. Conceptually it is so that people who are being attacked already can protect themselves without getting in trouble.

Unfortunately eince its been instated it mostly is used to excuse white men who kill black people. It is horrific. It isn't legal in my state. (Note this is different than a basic self defense idea).

"Stand your ground" isn't legal in every state (I'm pretty sure it isn't legal in my state), but ya its terrifying.


Tw depression and quarintine and other shit idk

Oh gods my depression is weighing down on me. I've been able to hold it back by working and keeping myself busy. But now I'm stuck at home with the world going to shit. My husband is super nervous about me going out and doing anything because I'm immunecompromised so I'm stuck and uhhhhhhh

I get cabin fever super easily. Today was a really bad day. I felt so exhausted I took a two hour nap (I'm usually incapable of napping). And then I did nothing but sit in bed on my computer. I didn't even do much with my baby today. O just didn't have the energy.

I keep wanting to bake banana bread but each day I put it off. I 100% know that if I accomplish this task I'll feel better (even if only a little bit) but my brain is bad and I can't remember anything.

My ability to focus or remember anything is almost non exictnat

Uhhhhhhg

Tw nudity talk


Also I tried to draw a nude portrait of myself and I hated it. So that's gone

I was hoping to get something from drawing but I couldn't get it out. I just hate it all


So I'm getting to the end of spring break but I have next week off too. My school is taking this precaution because (like in my classroom) we have very young children and they don't want the possibility of illness to spread.

For the elementary kids they are going to send materials and lessons to the kids so they don't miss out on school, but I'm not working.

It is so weird.


I love my sister but she puts not even the bare minimum into our relationship. it took her a month to get her old key to me (and it required me to go to her place and fish it out of her mail box. She didn't even meet me at the door)

Now I have her w2 and last paycheck (from December) and I've said multiple times that she can come overover. She says she will and can but its been 4 hours.

She lives 5 min drive from me.

I'm the one who keeps reaching out. I'm the one who has what she needs and she is still not doing anything.


The not worst thing today was that a child spilled milk all over my new shoes.

The worst thing is I think I lost my w2

And that's not all


You ever just feel bad but not bad enough to feel like you need to take care of it?

Like I've got a headache and I'm a little nauseous but I'm not going to leave work because I can manage it. But I also wish I would vomit or faint so they would have to send me home.

I would feel worse if I just told my lead "hey I'm not feeling well I need to go home." Because then I'd have to get a substitute and that is nearly impossible. Plus its almost the weekend so I can just rest then right?

Except tomorrow we have dnd and then on Sunday I'll probably clean the house or do laundry. Not to mention I'm a parent. I don't ever get a day of rest


Enjoyed my holiday now I'm feeling a drop in mood. Uhg

And of course we have dnd today so I can't just wallow and do nothing.

What's worse is I know why my mood dropped. Its because I listened to a podcast that had a premise which upset me. So if I hadn't listened to that podcast I would probably be okay.

Here's hoping I can get a good distraction today. Otherwise I'll have to wait until tomorrow for a cheer up


Me: goes on tumblr

Tumblr: bad news, bad news, cute drawing, condescending post about something, bad news, bad news, someone hating themselves, cute aesthetic post, a rant about something so long that I'm not going to bother reading it at 8am,


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